Tuesday Talk – Having Strength in Vulnerability

I decided to finish off the month of February by talking about having an open heart and creating a space for vulnerability. It only felt right as all month I talked about love and relationships. It can feel dangerous or unsafe to have an open heart but that is where all the magic happens.

Tuesday Talk - Having Strength in Vulnerability


Having strength in vulnerability

What do I mean by that? The practice of having an open heart while feeling loved and safe. When we have an open heart and an open mind we can be our most authentic selves. The version of ourselves that is satisfied and fulfilled. When we can have an open heart space we can be honest with others, but more importantly with ourselves.  Having an open heart is all about relationship with us!

Psychically I see...

An open heart

When I am talking about the heart space I rarely mean the physical heart. I am referring to the heart chakra. It is an energy center in the middle of the chest that I "see" as a sphere. The heart chakra is either open or closed. There is an incredibly brilliant golden light resides in the center of the heart chakra.  This is the higher-self. The heart is a door of sorts for the higher-self to flow into the body and into the physical world. From there it flows out beyond the body beyond time and space into all directions forever. It connects us to everyone and everything. The people with the most open hearts actually have energy that flows out of the heart into their space and the world around them.

Characteristics of an open heart

People with an open heart tend to have these qualities.
  • Loving
  • Affectionate
  • Compassionate
  • Patient
  • Romantic
  • Trusting
  • Optimistic
  • Generous
  • co-oerative

A closed heart

A closed heart is the opposite if an open one. The heart chakra is acting in such a way that very little if any energy flows out into the body and surrounding world.  This can be for many reasons but the most common is from either being hurt or a fear of being hurt. The heart chakra is being protected. There can be a type of force field around the heart chakra. The chakra may be very small. The opening from the heart chakra into the world might be smaller.

Characteristics of a closed heart

  • Irritability
  • Impatience
  • Pessimist
  • Cynical
  • Miserly
  • Jealous
  • Being the victim

Most people go back and forth between the two

Example of open heart

We see a friend or loved one and our heart opens wide. We let the love and connection flow from our hearts into the world and the situation.

Example of closed heart

We are driving and the actions of fellow drivers cause us to lose our patience. We get angry. We aren't able to stay positive or have compassion.

Sometimes they happen in the same moment

We are in a relationship with someone. Our hearts are big and open because we love and care for them. While our hearts are open they say or do something that hurts our feelings. Our open heart instantly closes down and we lose that moment of connection. What was just a loving peaceful relationship is now full of strife and pain.
Another example
When we are with our loved ones and they just annoy the crap out of us. Everything they say or do is so irritating or embarrassing. We wouldn't care if someone else did it but because our hearts are open to them we feel these things so powerfully.
Another example
Sometimes it feels like the ones who love us the most treat us the worst. it can be our spouse, parents, children, etc. They know how to push our buttons. This kind of interaction can create extreme competition, jealousy, apathy. We can feel like they really don't like us. We continually want love and approval from these people while our hearts aren’t open enough to actually get it. We don't want to get hurt so we learn to keep our hearts open only so far. We can become cynical or skeptical. Having a heart that can and will close on a moment’s notice. Sometimes we keep our hearts open but we become sensitive to everything. I mean everything. Every time someone says something we can take it extremely personal. We can feel like every word or action they take reflects us. Maybe we can feel the pain or feelings of others but we internalize them. The idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve. We can see the pain or suffering of others and we want to save or rescue them. We don't really know how to or we don't have the ability. They must save themselves.

How do we have an open heart with out all the ups and downs

Embrace vulnerability! As we embrace vulnerability we open ourselves up to painful experiences
  • Rejection
  • Ridicule
  • Prejudice
  • victim hood
  • martyr hood
  • Doubt and fear from others
  • Competition and control from others
When we embrace vulnerability we give ourselves the chance to live our most authentic lives

Why vulnerability is important

Vulnerability is a kind of magical place. Sure it may feel like there is danger but there is also unlimited potential and freedom. When our hearts and minds are open we can create anything. There is no failure without risk but there is also no success. In the past being vulnerable meant death. It could mean isolation or the lack of resources we needed to survive. Most of us do not face that kind of risk. Our mistakes and failures will not kill us. In this day even if people feel or think less of us their opinions will not usually adversely affect our lives.

What disconnects us from ourselves

We internalize everything. We make everything about us. We think that we are the cause and the effect of everything. The majority of things in this world have nothing to do with us. We just happen to be there.

How to be open and feel completely safe

Let it all go. It’s not important enough to carry it with you everywhere. I recently read a book that I felt spoke to this very issue. If you ever get a chance to read it I definitely recommend it.

The four agreements -  Don Miguel Ruiz

Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. - with this one agreement, you can completely transform your life
Always do your best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self abuse, and regret.

How to find freedom in vulnerability

Take what people say at face value. You can hear what they say, while understanding it isn’t about you.  I have found that when people say no, they are really saying no to themselves. It is something they are afraid of or don't want to do. It isn’t a representation of what you can or should do. It’s easier to apologize than to ask permission-especially when you never needed permission in the first place! It is OK if people don't like us. It is OK if they don't agree with or approve of us. Their thoughts and feelings don't reflect us. Just as our thoughts and feelings don't reflect them. Some questions to ask are; If you can be completely open without the need to seek validation, permission or approval, what would you create for yourself? What would you do? Where would you go? What life would you lead? Anything is possible when we open ourselves

Moving past vulnerability

  • Are we afraid of being rejected or hurt
  • Are we cynical or untrusting
  • Are we easily irritated, impatient, frustrated
  • When people say things to me how do I feel afterwards?
  • Why do I feel that way?
  • Is it because what they said was true?
  • Was it the way they said it? - tone, words they used.
  • Are we taking things personally?
  • Are we trying to please others?
  • What is our mental or emotional states?


  • Look at the openness of the heart chakra
  • Acknowledge the flow or lack thereof
  • Relax and release the feelings and opinions of others
  • Patience
  • Love
  • Compassion
  • Gratitude

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. If this information was confusing in any way or inspired a question or two, please don’t hesitate to ask. I live-stream on YouTube every Tuesday from 6 pm to 7 pm Pacific time. Each week I look at an aspect of everyday life in a psychic way. If you feel like you could use some psychic info into your own Heart space contact me for a reading . I would love to hear from you! Until next time, Sweet dreams and drive safe.

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