A Trade of Fish: A Past Life pt2

Here is the second part of my past life as the fisherman's wife. I really hit a load of energy with this one. The reason will become clear as I write. Enjoy! If you haven't read the first part you can do so HERE I sit with my Father and Uncle as they talk.  They talk about the troubles of old men. I have been with them about an hour and go to make my farewells. I am not sure how long it will be before I see my Uncle again. My Uncle grasps my hand and says he has word from my Sister. "Her Master is coming through this way and he may have need of another girl to help him. Your Father said you would do it but I wanted to ask you myself." He isn't really asking, as it would be an extreme sign of disrespect for me to refuse. But I know this is his own way of honoring me in return. "Oh?" I comment. "He is selling fabric to a local Lord and one of his girls broke her leg on the journey. He needs someone to carry things and look pretty." He comments with out emotion. "I owe the man a favor and told him I would find someone. Behave woman, don't dishonor yourself." He says with an expression that is half grimace half smirk. He knows I am willful and headstrong. "It sounds like you heard from a silk merchant." I retort, excited for the chance to see a treasured friend. "Ehhh, heard from, heard of what's the difference?" The old man complains, "Will you do it or not?" "I will." I say. "What will I need to do?" "When they arrive, in about three days time, come to this office and greet him. He will have clothes and shoes for you to wear. Can't have a fisherman's wife in the presence of the highborn. Do as he says. He may have need of you another time or two before he leaves. Make time for him. I will compensate that greedy husband of yours should he require it." He is critical of my husband but I know he will pay without us asking. He is just making a show to ease his pride. My uncle continues on in this fashion for a while, giving me all the details of the job. I ask a question or two but I basically understand the task. I am just excited I get to see my sister! I would do a hundred terrible jobs if it meant I got to see her more. She isn't really my sister. In fact I am not sure how we are related, if at all, but we have known each other since childhood. She was a ward of my Uncle's first wife. A sweet plump woman we called Auntie 'Pea-Pod'. Though I don't know why we called her that either. Every summer I would go to visit my relatives in a larger city that lies inland along a great river. In the winters Uncle and his family would visit their small estates and offices along the coast. We were always with each other, my Sister and I. When we were apart I would mope and pine for the long weeks until I saw her again. The day I heard she was marrying my bother I was so elated! Finally my sister would be with me always. We would be sisters for real. The marriage was arranged but I believe they genuinely cared for each other. They were married twice. First in Uncle's house and then again in our small village by the sea. Their wedding was so wonderful. An elaborate and glamorous affair. So much more than my simple wedding  to the young Fisherman. My Sister in a resplendent gown of gold and green. Jade and brass flowers in her hair. Banners and pinions hung in the corners of my Uncle's hall. In orange and red and blue. Even their quiet, by comparison, wedding in our village had expensive treats like moon cakes and pickled duck. She was like a maiden from a dream. As little girls we would pretend we had caught the eye of a handsome powerful man. He would take us away to his stately home and shower us with riches. For my Sister, it appeared, her pretending had turned into reality. I mean my Brother was no powerful man but he was my Father's heir and a capable merchant in his own right. The summers I spent playing, he spent learning how to trade with my Uncle and Father. He wouldn't have been satisfied with being a fishmonger in a small coastal town. Luckily with Uncle's wealth and connections he had the freedom to become something more than the simple life my Father would leave him. They lived with my Father in his house in the center of town. Not a large house by any means but easily the largest in the small fishing village. It was built by my Grandfather as an escape from the world of bargains and deals, merchants and traders. It suited my parents, my brother and his wife. She had a happy comfortable life and I visited with her often. Before too long my Sister had a beautiful baby boy. Though motherhood was good to her and she good at it I was unable to see her much after that. I was not on the best terms with my Father or Brother. The story of my own love was not as peaceful or fortunate. I the daughter of a fishmonger, daughter of a relatively successful merchant family fell in love with a fisherman's son. He was fit and handsome. He was funny. Early each day and late each evening his father and he would make hauls of fish into town, to my Father's storehouse or stall. As a girl I would watch him. He would make faces at me as he struggled to carry the big sacks and baskets full of their catch. I would giggle and laugh until my father or one of his workers ran me off. As I grew so did my interest in him. The laughing turned to flirting and stolen kisses. I would sneak away from my Father's house in the wee hours of the morning to see him. We would lay on the beach and look at the stars. Talking all the while. As night would turn he would leave to get started on the days work and I would hurry home. The first time my father caught me I lied and told him I had been praying at the shrine. I don't think he believed me but my mother, a devout woman, told him to encourage my faith. I felt so guilty from her trust in me that I made sure to stop and pray every morning after our visits. Both to right a wrong and so that I wouldn't have to lie about where I had been. From then on I had just come from the shrine. They just didn't have to know where I had been before that. Our secret love affair didn't last. When my Father found out about our relationship he was furious. I had never before seen him so angry. We were careless. We had been in a small alley between some sheds and a few huts, kissing like the world was about to end. In broad daylight shirking the duties we both had. My father tore me off of him and tried to hit the young Fisherman. My Fisherman. The boy dodged my Father and moved back out of the alley. My Father yelled after him and pulled me the short way to our house. "You disgrace yourself!" He screamed at me. "Uncle, is right I have been too lax with you.  I thought I raised you better than this." He continued to berate me. I for once had nothing to say. I was scared and angry and frustrated. When I tried to speak he wouldn't hear it. At some point I started crying though in my memory I tell myself I didn't. I don't  want to acknowledge  how my behavior in that moment made me feel weak and silly. How the days and weeks that came after made me feel weak and silly. He threatened to stop doing business with the fisherman and send me away to live with Auntie and Uncle. I told my Father that we loved each other. We wanted to be husband and wife one day.  He was livid and then thoughtful. I could see his mind twisting and turning. He called for the Young Fisherman and his Father.  The elder fisherman was in the bay fishing when my father summoned him. The young man had to explain to his father why he was being dragged from his catch. Neither of the men were pleased with our actions. Finally my father said, "So you think you can make her happy? What can you offer her other than a smelly shack full of fish guts?" The Boy said, "I give her my love and devotion, I will never stray from her." "I wish you would," said my father coolly. "Devotion doesn't feed a family." "She will never go hungry. Not as long as I have my nets and my boat." The Boy said proudly. "No, I suppose she won't," my Father said, begrudgingly conceding. "But can you give her this?" My father asked gesturing to his house and all the comforts he had given me. "She isn't some poor grass girl stinking of dirt and shit. And what of my honor? The honor of my house? In his anger my father continues to berate us. It feels like this lasts a lifetime but I lose all track of everything. His words and tone never soften. The young fisherman and I try to answer him but I do not remember all that was said. My father sighs, looking resigned. "Is this really what you want?" he asks me. "It is," I practically whisper. "If this is the life you think you want I expect you to face the consequences of your choices. I will not let my own daughter dictate the terms of my life and make a fool of me! You must choose his love or mine. If you marry him I will no longer be your father and your benefactor.  I will not be both!" My father almost screams with a deranged look in his eyes. No longer the soft gentle man I know him to be. "If you marry him and choose to keep this family in your life I will never again buy another fish from their nets. Or I won't destroy their livelihood and you will lose my love forever." "But sir..." The fisherman's father starts. "This is between me and my daughter!" My father says. I can hear the venom in his voice as her refers to me. I can hear my mother crying. "Why would you make her choose this?" my mother says the shock and grief plain in her voice. "Quiet!" My father snaps. "If she can choose to humiliate herself and her family she can decide this." "So it is either the love of this family or the love and survival of the family I am to join?" I ask in disbelief. I am shocked. I never could have perceived this outcome. I don't know what to think or what to do. I look to the fisherman, the boy I love. He looks as lost and confused as I. I look to his father. I can tell he is livid that he has found himself so helpless in a situation of his son's making. Though angry he looks defeated. His life has been hard and I can see surrender in his eyes. He looks at me desperately, hoping I will make a decision that  will not destroy the life he has created. I ask my father to explain the details and he does. If I choose to stay his daughter he and my brother will never again buy another fish, crab, shrimp or any other item that my husband, his father, or my sons pull from the sea. If I chose otherwise he will no longer consider me a member of his family. He made sure to emphasize  that his daughter would be dead, and I would be but a stranger. I am openly crying, tears streaming down my cheeks. I love my family, my father most of all. The young fisherman grabs my hand. He gives me a sad soft smile. "You dont have to do this," he whispers. "Our love isn't worth this."   So here is the end of part two. Sorry for the cliff hanger but this post has gotten really long and there is a ton more. Hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment or let me know if anything like this ever happened to you. If you are interested in getting a past life reading or learning how to read past lives please look HERE. Thanks so much and have a psychic day!

3 thoughts on “A Trade of Fish: A Past Life pt2”

      1. That is the goal! I want to tap into a past life a week and when I have a years worth put them together into a book.

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