Earlier this week I posted a past life I looked at. Now I am going to look at how this past life relates to who I am in this life and what I am presently working on. A Show of Magic: A Past Life pt1 A Show of Magic: A Past Life pt2 So in this life I had a great and incredible skill. One that served me and my community well. I was talented and trusted in my abilities to help people using plant magic. I knew that not everyone had the ability to do this skill and yet I did not see myself as special. I was just a normal person doing what in my mind was a normal profession. The view others had of me and the view I had of myself were not in alignment. Lets start with the issues surrounding how I saw myself. In this past life I was taught from a young age that I was not the seat of this magic. It was all in the plants. While this is true there was a lack in emphasis on the idea that being able to perceive and interpret the energies and information from plants is pretty special. Not every person had this skill. As I implied in the life with my oldest daughter, not everyone had the inclination to even learn it. I didn't experience it much in the past life but I am more than certain that my abilities to sense and know energies went far beyond plants in that lifetime. I knew that the boy needed help and I knew that I was capable of giving it to him. It is no surprise that the shamans of the tribe wanted to train me in their ways. What caused this to be? I see it as a mixture of things. One was the conditioning from my mother and grandmother. I could remember my grandmother arguing with the shamans. I was a normal girl. We were a normal family. Another was the way in which I had grown accustomed to seeing the world. My abilities were beyond second nature. I could not remember a time when I was not working with the magic of plants. Combine this with living in a world were everything was seen through a spiritual and superstitious lens. My work with plant magic had become every day. I did not feel safe or confident going to show my self off. I felt like an impostor. I was a joke. A person pretending to be something I wasn't. I was so quick to look past the faults and flaws of the other magicians. They were perfect and I was nothing. It was only through an extreme event that I felt comfortable to be myself and use my gift. Though I was still hesitant to take claim or credit. I can see the correlations in my present life. Even as a young child I felt like a phony. I never wanted people to think I was trying to be someone I wasn't. I can remember being extremely difficult when my mom would take me shopping. She would make suggestions and I would tell her I couldn't wear those things. I don't remember if I gave a reason but it was because in my head I knew I wasn't the kind of kid who wore those types of clothes. I didn't know what type I was but I knew I wasn't that. I realize looking back that all kids pretty much wore the same things. Who ever they were. I can see this behavior in myself now. In my business. I am afraid to take risks because I fear I will make a fool of myself. I fear that my clients or colleagues will see that my information isn't what I think it is. I know it is powerful but maybe it isn't really worth the dime I am asking for it. Just as in that life I put people on a pedestal. They have so much information! I been wanting to have a garden for years. YEARS! Well this spring a friend of mine helped me create one on my back patio. I was so hesitant and indecisive when she would ask me questions. I would always defer to her. Afterwards I felt kind of silly. While I am grateful for her help she didn't really teach me anything I couldn't have learned from a youtube video. I didn't trust myself enough to look up the video on my own. I was miserably content to wait until someone smarter and better helped me. If she hadn't helped me I probably just wouldn't have a garden. (When I was editing this I realized the irony! Here I am talking about a past life where I used plant magic and in this life I am terrified of working with plants! Crazy!) I am extremely capable. I am always blowing people away when they get a taste of how I see and interact with the world. But this has become life. It has become mundane. This past life helped remind me that while everyone has the capacity to be psychic not everyone is. I am just interacting with what has always been there. People have a hard time separating the magic from the person interacting with it. Maybe the point of this life is that I don't need to separate the person from the magic. We each interact with spirit differently. We do it in a way that only we as individuals can. No two people see energy exactly the same way. In that past life I couldn't see that my own view was what people valued. Not the magic. That is the take away here. People value ME. The rest is just extra. Thanks for joining me on this journey. I will follow this up with a MEDITATION based on the energy of this past life. If you are interested in getting a past life reading or learning how to do a past life reading go HERE!